5 TOP TIPS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR PAUSAL YEARS

This time ‘should’ feel like the Prime time of your life so I’m sharing 5 top tips to make the most of your Pausal years – for you. 

If you’re looking to achieve a better balance at this time in your life, there’s no time like now to start thinking how to take better care of YOU. Self care is fundamental for helping you make choices that support you.  

Make the change – for a better ‘change’. 

Here are 5 Top Tips to fall in love with your Pausal Years - starting with you. 

 1 . Change one thing. 

Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results is madness. If you always do things the same, nothing ever changes. You might find yourself at a time in your life where you need to start making different choices.  

The first steps to self-care include how you can start to make these changes. As you choose to spend more time with people that make you feel good, you will find you spend less time with people that don’t. If you do one thing differently now – whether that’s going somewhere different for coffee, seeing someone other than the ‘usual’ crowd (maybe that’s what’s expected, it’s become a habit), deciding that you want to do something of your choosing instead of everyone else’s, you could soon find yourself showing up differently in your friendships, your personal activities and spending habits, maybe the amount of time that you spend with certain people.  

This all relates to getting clearer on your boundaries, and doing things in a way that works for you. 

 2 . It’s SUPER important to take better care of yourself. 

My guess is you’re someone who is used to looking after others, even when what you really need is someone to make sure you’re okay – as a result your own wellbeing and outlook can really suffer. 

If you care for other people as part of a job, being able to continue doing that job is so important. By looking after yourself as part of the process, you can make that feel easier. If you’re so used to taking care of everyone else you will find there’s no time left to take care of you, you really need to stop and ask yourself if it’s impacting on you as a result.  

You might find yourself getting snappy, or feeling resentful, maybe getting annoyed with yourself because all your time and energy (which, let’s face it is already going to be stretched thinner because of hormonal changes) is being spent before you can begin. 

You’re probably not much fun to be around because you’re either too tired or too moody - and you don’t even feel like you any more. As you start to notice this, often that will spread, then the people you’re taking care of – whoever that might be – will also start to suffer, because you will do them no good either and it can be hard to come back from that. 

Try now to make time on a regular basis, whether that’s once a week or once a month for now, to give yourself some space, so you can start to figure out what it is you actually need – for you. 

 3. Make it a Mindful moment. 

Perhaps it’s time to experiment with mindfulness, just focus on being in the moment. 

Instead of thinking about what’s coming next, you’re just in that moment, right here, right now, enjoying what is right in front of you – enjoying the beautiful sunshine, the warmth of the sun on your skin, the fresh air, the sound of the birds singing.  

You’re not mulling over things from the past, or the next thing and the next.  

You are making the most of every beautiful thing around you - too often we miss the natural beauty by being so caught up in the ‘must have, must do, must be’ activities. 

Take a mindful moment in your day. Let your mind just ‘be’. 

4. Create some healthier boundaries.  

If you’re someone who doesn’t know how to say no to other people’s needs, or doesn’t practice simply saying ‘no!’ it’s time to start drawing a clearer line – where the needs of others end and yours begin. 

Instead of asking ‘how high’ when people ask you to jump (hint, they usually ask you because they know you won’t say no!), try not justifying it (first of all, try this for yourself, as a practice). You can just say ‘no’ – or if that feels uncomfortable, you could just say ‘not right now’.  

Then you won’t find yourself saying yes to all opportunities of awkward or seemingly impossible requests. All that really happens is your mental wellbeing suffers, because your inner chatter is negative, you constantly reprimand yourself for being a bit of a pushover, you question if you are enough, you feel like you are weak and start to wonder if everyone else sees you in the same way. 

Unfortunately you will always find those energy vampires who drain you, taking advantage of your good nature, if you let them – usually because they know you will!  

And it doesn’t take long to manifest in physical symptoms, you find your stomach in knots at the thought of seeing that person, dealing with that situation you just don’t have the energy for. The effects of this kind of anxiety can last a long time too. Especially when the physical changes you’re undergoing are partnered up with it! 

The key thing here is going to be working out what you are able to say yes to – what you want to say yes to, what you have the energy for. Then start saying no to everything that isn’t that. 

If you’re able to define a line you are no longer prepared to cross, getting clear on your boundaries will become easier. 

It will take time and practice, but you will soon notice the balance shifting in your favour, and how different, happier and calmer you feel as a result. 

5. Do Something you LOVE, something that lights you up – just because. 

Even if for a while we may have forgotten what they are, we all have activities that raise our spirits. Perhaps we’ve just forgotten how to make time to do them. There’s a magical feeling about doing something for the sheer enjoyment it brings. Even if you don’t feel it’s something you’re ever going to be good at – focus on the gift you give yourself of doing for how good it makes you feel. 

Do you love singing at the top of your voice, but worry it sounds terrible? So what? Do it anyway. 

(Disclaimer: I manage the local branch of our Tuneless Choir in Nottingham, so am a huge advocate of ‘singing like no-one is listening’, that is what we do, without any fear about how it might sound, it’s sooo good for your wellbeing). 

Are you a painter, or do you have other creative hobbies? Get stuck into those, absorb yourself in the enjoyment it brings you –focus on that feel good factor. 

Maybe you love to run, you know you’ll never do anything competitively but WHO CARES?! You just love the feel of the wind in your face as you keep moving forward setting your own pace. (A rather good mantra for life, if you ask me). 

Whatever it is that you want to do, just because you love to do it – do that thing, do it for you. You are worth this time.  

I have heaps more tips just like this so stay tuned and Click on the image below for more about me – I promise you will find something that feels right for you eventually!