HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE STUCK?

That’s exactly how I felt once I discovered I was perimenopausal. As an artist I teach about creative block and creative flow. I felt I had walked into a life block! It wasn’t just that I felt my creativity had ebbed away but that my mojo and will power had gone too. I couldn’t see how I wanted life to be – how to grow through this life change. Sound familiar? 

You know that you are capable and can achieve and function, but you have lost your mojo. It seems like you are treading water, living life on repeat whilst your body starts to deteriorate. Along the way you have lost your flow – this can be because we are suffering from anxiety, rapid changes to health or the exhaustion caused by our multiple roles. It is easy to feel that we weren’t good enough. For me I lost confidence in expressing myself – my emotions were haywire. I rely in channelling emotion through my art making but somehow, I just couldn’t be bothered. I didn’t trust my thoughts. Sometimes we are so exhausted by life and responsibilities we can’t find a way back to ourselves. Our own time ends up at the bottom of a never-ending to-do list. 

That is how it feels when I have times of creative block. And that is how this life block felt. 

My life felt shrunken. I just don’t have the same energy anymore and felt like life was filled with the ‘shoulds’ rather than the ‘coulds’.

Creativity is all about ‘what if’ and having time to play and experiment. When I say creativity, I mean anything that we make, or fills us with joy. It could be walking, wild swimming, knitting, gardening, baking, or painting. For me much of my connection with nature is forged through experiencing the outdoors and reflecting that in my sketchbooks. In the difficult days of my perimenopause, I put doing and making on the bottom of my to do list. There wasn’t energy left to be the joyful, creativity me.

So, I had to tiptoe back and find her, take her hand, and make time for those small acts of daily creativity that inspire me and make me feel alive.  
 

I know in my heart that I never feel better than when I am making. It doesn’t have to be a grand finished project it can be anything. But making physical space and finding mental space for trying new things can be challenging but we must do it if we want to discover and re-discover who we will be in the next phase of our life.   

Being a grown-up is most often about ticking things off our to-do list – being perimenopausal can be about working through the tick list with little sleep, overworked emotions and teeth gritted. We must rekindle the idea of playing – getting in touch with our inner child who isn’t so burdened by everyday tasks. Through that permission to try new ways of making and being we can rediscover ourselves and re-shape ourselves for our future. In creating space to create, I find that I centre myself. As with a meditation, I can get lost in the moment and forget the burdens of my day.  

These prompts may help you reclaim some time to find joy. ...

• Switch off – nourish yourself, sleep well, eat well, go for walks 
• Make a list of what you might like to make or a new craft to try. I found a visit to the library or book shop can help. 
• Set a time for you to create/make/bake/walk and stick to it. No interruptions. 
• Enjoy the process – enjoy the trying, and not knowing where a project might lead. 
   

It’s okay to get it wrong – the peace comes in making space to satisfy a part of you that may have been forgotten. For more from me and ideas on how to use creativity to calm, re-discover yourself or simply to have fun visit Helen Hallows at her online studio