MENOPAUSE EXPERIENCES - Jayne

 "It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when my pausal journey began. In light of what I am now learning, it was probably a lot earlier than I originally thought.  

Looking back, I spent much of my forties suffering from exhaustion, aches and pains and extreme low mood, brain fog and what was to be diagnosed as depression. I also had frequent bouts of digestive upset and after numerous tests received a diagnosis of IBS. 

Life events at the time conspired to make all of these explanations seem entirely plausible in their own right. However, the medication I was prescribed — anti-depressants and Buscopan to treat stomach cramps — seemed to have little effect long term. I continued to suffer extreme fluctuations in mood and overwhelming anxiety and intense abdominal pain, which I found coincided with my menstrual cycle. These episodes would frequently render me unable to perform day-to-day activities and had a huge impact on my life. 

Further visits to the GP and various specialists would lead to suggestions of fibromyalgia/ME, although I felt sure that this was not the case. My symptoms didn’t seem to fit with the diagnostic criteria and pain pattern. I remember mentioning the possibility of being menopausal to my GP, but was informed that, as my periods were still regular, this could not be the case. The peri menopause was never mentioned. I came to have little faith that an answer would be found and that this unhealthy and frightening reality was something that I would have to live with. 

I am now approaching my mid fifties and there is currently an unprecedented wave of dialogue around the subject of menopause. The controversy surrounding the use of HRT and related health fears is being reappraised and many of those fears debunked. In fact, research suggests that there are many benefits in replacing the depletion of hormones that women experience through the menopause. 

I am currently four months into using HRT and I wish it had been made available to me sooner. And whilst I feel very positive about this, I believe that a more individualised approach is necessary in order to achieve maximum benefit; we still have a way to go, it’s definitely not a ‘one size fits all’ scenario and it might not be for everyone. 

I have found various resources invaluable along the way. Davina McCall’s documentaries, ‘Sex, Myths and the Menopause’ (Channel 4, 2021) and her 2022 follow-up ‘Sex, Mind and the Menopause’ I believe had a profound impact on breaking the taboo and opening up dialogue on the subject, playing a crucial role in the empowerment of women on their pausal journey.  

‘Making Friends with the Menopause’ by Sarah Raynor is an easy to read, informative book. A guide to the changes that occur through menopause which is, as one reviewer put, ‘…like having a chat with a close friend…’ 

The Balance app is a great, free app that allows you to track your symptoms, access personalised content and share stories in the community. 

And last, but by no means least, the Notts Menopause/Perimenopause group on FB, providing the opportunity to share our many and varied experiences with other local women. An invaluable support group where we can share the journey. 

Finally, we are breaking the taboo. We are talking and sharing our stories and the journey continues."

Jayne is a Member of the Pause & Unite Community Sharing Her Experience and Pausal Journey so far.