MENOPAUSE EXPERIENCES - Kylie

Kylie, a Pause and Unite Member shares her Pausal Journey so far  …. 

MY MENOPAUSAL JOURNEY

The beginning

My menopausal journey, or should I say the realisation that I was actually on my menopausal journey started in 2017 when I was 44 years old. I had been working as a primary school teacher for 10 years and I’d had enough. I’d made the scary decision to leave the profession to set up my own dog walking and pet sitting business. I finished in the July and started taking on my first customers in the September.

That August I noticed that I hadn’t had a period however I didn’t think much of it because it wasn’t unusual for me to skip a month here or there. One month turned into two and three and then six months had passed for me with no period. I started to wonder if it could be the menopause but then thought ‘Noooo surely not?! I’m only 44!’ In my head the menopause was years away – It wasn’t going to happen until I was at least 55! More time passed and with that the depressing realisation that yes, I was actually going through the menopause. I have to say, I was completely mortified. For me it was something that happened to much older women. None of my friends had mentioned anything and so I felt quite alone. I told my partner which helped a little but not enough. I made him swear not to say anything to anyone as I felt so weird about it all!

The first woman I spoke to about it was a lady I knew from my yoga class who I bumped into at the park. We had a great chat and immediately I felt so much better and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I then started talking to more women and the more women I spoke to, the more I realised how many were either peri-menopausal, menopausal or post-menopausal! It was so good to chat.

Symptoms

I had definitely been experiencing symptoms of the menopause prior to 2017 but because teaching is the job it is, I just put them down to stress. I was extremely tired all the time, struggled with my sleep, had palpitations, anxiety….all things that a lot of teachers experience anyway! Also When I was still teaching I’d started to go red in class…this hadn’t happened to me for at least 35 years. As a child I was very shy and used to blush really easily. All of a sudden, it had started to happen again. I’d feel a rush of blood from my toes right to my face and I wouldn’t be able to stop it happening. So strange I thought because I wasn’t at all embarrassed to be in front of a class. Obviously I realised later, I’d been having hot flushes the whole time.

I’d say that the main symptom for me that continued the longest were the hot flushes. I didn’t really suffer from night sweats but usually would get an attack of hot sweats in the evening whilst watching a film. I’d have to strip off, and then I’d be cold again and repeat.

Another main symptom for me was achy joints. Some days I’d find that my hands were so achy and it almost felt like I was getting arthritis. The next day they’d be fine again. Some days it would be my whole body as if I’d done a huge workout but I hadn’t!

Lastly my memory! This is one I still struggle with a little to be honest. Short term memory loss like I’ve never experienced. I’d pick something up and then find it the following day in a random place (like the garden) and I’d completely forgotten what I was doing with it and had no recollection of leaving it there at all.

To HRT or not to HRT

After hearing about other women’s experiences I think I’ve been quite lucky in view of the fact that my symptoms haven’t been too extreme. It’s not that long ago at all but in 2017, (pre Davina McCall) there wasn’t much talk of the menopause, let alone HRT. My only experience of HRT was my mum taking it for her Osteoporosis and she came off it after a while due to the health scares surrounding it. Consequently it really wasn’t on my radar and I didn’t go to the doctor to enquire about it as in my opinion it was still something to be avoided. Had my symptoms been more extreme I may well have gone down that road.

My approach

The older I’ve got the more interested I’ve become in food, nutrition and how food can help and heal our bodies inside and out. The word ‘nutrition’ means to nourish and it makes so much sense.

In around 2014, my partner was suffering with a lot of pain in his forearms. He had researched a few things and he came across the ketogenic diet which, by cutting out all sugars and carbs is supposed to help a lot of joint and muscle pain as well as having a lot of other benefits. I decided to join him and we embarked on the keto journey together. It was so hard cutting out bread for me as well as a lot of other things but we started to see positive results straight away. Weight loss was one but also clarity of mind and so much more energy. The whole experience was a fascinating learning journey for both of us about different foods and how they can affect our bodies both positively and negatively.

I don’t follow a strict keto diet now but I think since then I’ve become a lot more conscious about what I eat and how it’s so much better to eat fresh and try to cook from scratch. I have also since read that a keto diet could potentially cause early menopause so it’s definitely not something to enter into lightly and needs researching to see if it’s right for you.

Food obviously affects us in different ways but for me personally I feel so much better not eating a lot of bread or pasta. I’ve cut down on my milk intake because strangely I noticed that the more milk I drink, the worse my hot flushes seem to be. Also I now limit my alcohol intake as again, my hot flushes are definitely more frequent when I’ve been drinking.

I have recently started to try intermittent fasting which is when you leave a certain amount of hours between meals. There are lots of articles and research to show that this can help with menopausal symptoms particularly hot flushes. For me it seems to be working.

Finally, exercise. I’m a dog walker anyway so I get lots of fresh air on a daily basis but I think this has helped me so much. I also try to do yoga on a regular basis which helps with aches and pains.

Things I did which I feel really helped

• Talked to other women about their experiences and shared mine with them.
• Researched different approaches for myself – HRT might not be for some women but it might be for you. Look at the pros and cons.
• Really looked at my diet and thought about what I could do differently.

(check out https://www.youtube.com/c/DrEricBergDC/videos .  He has a lot of great videos about the menopause and about health and nutrition in general)

• Kept exercising as much as possible.

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